Memoirs
by Anerali
Summary: The side story thing for TFC! A one hundredth drabble celebratory side story post giving different POVs and glimpses of the past. (Discontinued)
1. Kanae

It had always been dark around me.

It is a beautiful world, described by Rin as if I was in space and everyone else were stars. But my world made things very, _very_ difficult. I can't even see my own wife's face properly. Never know what her eyes look like when they're staring into mine, never know how her hair looks in the moonlight, and most of all, how happy she looks while carrying our child.

I constantly have to use pressure to feel my way around, to use it as my "eyes". Many vampires are constantly nervous around me because of it- since my very presence is too heavy for them to bear.

It had been a cool night nearing summer when Rin's water broke.

She had been yelling at a maid for embezzling when her core stilled and water with a slight hint of salt filled the air.

"Kanae..." She says quietly. I dismissed the maid with a wave of my hand, and picked Rin up. I sped through the halls and reached the birthing room, placing her onto the bed. Behind me, I can sense the midwife, her assistants, and several of our maids making their way into the room.

I grab one of the chairs and set it next to the bed, my hand making its way into my wife's and gripping her hand as tight as I could without hurting her. Her core fluctuates between anxiety and fear. Her breaths grow shorter and shorter.

I bring her hand against my lips, as a reassurance for both her nerves and mine. My lips kiss it over and over, and I murmur, "You'll be fine. Our Rido will be a healthy baby boy and he'll grow beautifully."

Her hand shakes in response, but her core pulls itself together in determination. It fills itself with strength and love until it overflows and holds itself up against the pain once the contractions start. I can see each wave of pain make its way into her core and her breaths stutter. She moans in agony and her grip on my hand becomes tight enough to shatter it. But I don't mind.

I'll happily allow Rin to shatter each and every one of my bones if it'll distract her from this torture.

A babe's cry reach my ears and I turn. The core is deep and powerful. It is small and compact, but there's something terrible happening. I can see it panic, lashing out several strings to take out those it takes to be a threat. Half a second after, snaps echo in the room and several cores disappear.

A baby's core is supposed to be weak and undeveloped until the third month, but this- _my Rido's-_ core is mature. Already _knows_ of its mortality and the dangers its path in life has laid out for it. It is already _aware._

I scramble up from my seat when two more cores are extinguished, one of which had been holding my baby. I _use_ my own core to cover and quell the panicking orb. I ignore the screams of horror around me, and takes several strings out and pins them into each and every core of the vampires who aren't related to me.

I send out waves of positive emotions into them, forcibly erasing their earlier memories of horror and replacing them with a joyous one. I compel them to ignore the damages done to the room and finally call the strings back when I'm sure they're convinced Rido is a harmless baby whose birth is cause for celebration.

"It's a girl!" The midwife's surviving assistant announces joyously. The midwife is dead, the realization is a horrid punch to my solar plexus. And my Rido is a girl. A baby girl who'll inherit the empire. A girl whose rule will be made even more difficult simply because of her gender. My baby girl. My Rido.

I accept a blanket from one of the maids and clumsily wrap her body with it under their instructions, ignoring the judgemental amusement radiating from them. I head over to Rin and hand our Rido to her. Her core dances with joy and relief. She embraces our child happily and says, "Rido. Your name will be Rido Kuran."

Her core, who had been laying passive before with a slight touch of dread in it, began showing signs of panic once more. I quickly force it to stay still at the very least, letting the emotions wash over the tiny core and bleed out without any lives suffering as casualty.

Two nights later, Rin is well enough to leave the birth room. I haven't left our child's side whatsoever, slightly surprised she's taking my presence well and forcing her core to stay still whenever it begins to get agitated.

It isn't safe to leave her to the maids, for the exact opposite reason Rin and I had worried over weeks before. So I materialize my familiar from my shadow, a cat my mother described to be a witch's cat, with sleek midnight blue fur and bearing my shade of eyes. Hopefully he'll be enough of a companion to her.

Rido takes to my familiar immediately. She clings to the fur with her pudgy, tiny fists and utterly refuses to let go. I can't see her, but it sends me flashes of the sight of her core. It sits still in content, choosing to be a complete contrast to the one I have to regularly keep still. My familiar also gives me the feel of how her body is curled into it sometimes, making me miss the time I held her in my arms.

But the empire is keeping me busy right now. Things are tense and the tentative peace treaty we have with the Vampire Hunter's Association is deteriorating. Many Aristocrats are whispering of discontent, of corruption and unreliability in my family, and it's becoming more and more difficult to stamp them out. Rin is getting more and more stressed with each vampire undermining her rule, each jab made on her gender and each jab on her reliance on me.

It all leads up to us seeking comfort from our daughter, however sparse our time with her may be. Rido herself doesn't seem to mind being left alone. Her core radiates happiness and understanding when I see her and Rin had cooed that Rido smiles at us when we enter the room.

But there have been many a vampire who've approached me on her. We haven't shown her to our citizens, haven't mentioned her in the slightest except to announce her birth. Many are suspecting something, and all the Purebloods know she's aware.

"...girl too, after all."

Ah. Did I just go here unconsciously? I open the door and see Rido's horrified core and Rin's highly amused one. My pressure tells me Rin is shoving Rido's face into her breasts. Well then.

"Rin." I sigh as I close the door and dismiss my familiar. Rin's core turns euphoric when she looks at me. Rido's, on the other hand, goes further into embarrassment. "Don't break our first child."

Rido's very, _very_ delicate and she tends to panic easily.

"But she's so cute!" Rin isn't angry or disappointed actually, she's just saying this to tease our daughter even more.

"And she'll be the Vampire Queen." I tell her quietly as I move to her side. "She can't do that if she loses _all_ of her dignity."

"Dignity, shmignity!" Rin's core becomes indignant, and angry. Waves of hatred, shame and disappointment makes it way from her and she hits my arm to scold me and ground herself. "She'll have to be bold and downright shameless before anyone takes her seriously! Stupid sexist men will _always_ be an obstacle for our princess."

Rido's core turns still at our words. Surprisingly, it doesn't lash out. Retreating into itself instead and occasionally letting me see that it's in shock and denial.

"Kanae," Rin says with a touch of uncertainty and amusement in her voice, "I think we've lost her."

"I think so too."


	2. Rain

**Rain**

I've always loved the rain. The sound of the rain drowning out the unnecessary noise. The drops cleansing the sky and the rivers of water washing away the pollution.

"Milady." _Speaking of pollution..._ The Aristocrat flashes a disgusting smile when I look at him. "The weather must be bringing you down. Why don't you head home and spend sometime with the ladies? Surely there's something to talk about on days like this. Let us take care of these dull affairs. They're only politics, after all."

 _"Get out."_ I tell him flatly, sending him a scathing glare. His body moves against his will, and I _force_ him to stomp out, breaking a few bones in the process. I look around the table challengingly, then lean back in satisfaction when they all look down in submission. "You seem to be forgetting your places, _gentlemen._ I don't believe ' _Milady'_ is how one addresses their _Queen._ Now, let's get down to business, shall we?"

Sometime later, I walk out the meeting room. Dreading the paperwork waiting for me back at the office.

"Nee-san."

I'll never admit to jumping from the start his sudden appearance gave me. I look at him questioningly and he makes a motion to follow him. He leads me to his house, and the slight hint of Tomoko's blood spurs us into bolting to their bedroom. She's ready to give birth.

Contrary to popular belief, Tomoko is nowhere near a delicate, sparkling flower. She has the pain tolerance of a Kami- she has to, given her ability. So while she was giving birth, she made no sound to give any indication of pain. She didn't even sweat from the exertion of pushing her baby out with my aid.

"A boy." I announce to the couple, quickly cleaning him with a wet cloth of warm water and wrapping him in a blanket before handing him to Tomoko-imouto. She smiled happily at me and examined the crying babe.

"Kanae." She says to us quietly. Deep in my mind, a part of me couldn't help but snark at how girly the name sounds. If he had been a human boy, he would have been made fun of by his peers. Thankfully, with his status as a prince, no one would dare.

 _Well,_ The traitorous part of me thinks as I take the time to look at my nephew, _he's cute at least. The girls are going to be all over him. I'll pity him on Valentine's Day._

That's the only time I saw him before eighteen years pass. Don't blame me. Blame the stupid Aristocrats trying to stuff the paperwork my way. Of course, I'm absolutely petty enough to ruin them for it. Planting small evidences here and there to make their families a joke to our society.

Beats those bastards for trying to overwork me!

"Nee-san."

"You have _got_ to stop doing that." I deadpan. "Seriously, you're going to give someone a heart attack someday."

My little brother shrugs his shoulders. He gestures to his side and I obligingly look down and see a small scrap of a boy, clinging to his father's pants and looking... at... my chest...

"Takeo-kun!" I growl out as my my arms move to cover my breasts. _"Did you raise a pervert!!!?"_

"No." He glares at me in disbelief before sighing. "Look at his eyes."

I look at him suspiciously, then oblige him once more. They're blue. Icy blue, like our great-aunt's. This boy is going to have a tough time moving around until he gets a hold of his powers.

"Hello, Kanae-kun." I greet him quietly. "My name is Rin Kuran. I'm your father's sister- your aunt. It is a pleasure to meet you."

And it is, with cute chubby cheeks and midnight blue hair curling inwards, he looks like a little cupid. The epitome of innocence.

"It's a pl- pleaju to meechu too." He says gravely. Huh. Must have learnt that from his father. How uncute... Except for the blunder, that one was pretty cute actually. "Father says you can teach me how to see."

"Huh." I say flatly. I look at Takeo-kun and narrow my eyes in warning. While I would make time to help family, you can't just spring that on me suddenly! "Well, it'll be awhile before I can take the time to teach you. A week at most."

He nods with a serious expression. And just as I was thinking of how uncute that was, his eyes shined. Not in tears, no. But literally _shined._

Oh wait. I paused a little. He's hungry. So I instinctively lean down and sweep him into a kiss. Once done, he starts a little. And he leans back to examine my core. He seems a little dazed for some reason, but I'll let that inattention pass.

 _Pit. Pat._

I turn my head over to the window, watching as drops of water hit the glass, growing more and more prominent until it became a downpour. It didn't seem like it was going to rain. There wasn't even a hint of its scent this morning! Maybe it's a sign. A sign of good luck if nothing else.

"We'll be leaving now." Takeo nods gracefully. He hikes the boy against his side and marches down the hall. All the while, I ignore Kanae's eyes on my form.


	3. A Daily Life From the Past

**AN: Yay~!!! It's finally out! Now, this isn't really her daily life, but it does happen about once a week.**

 **A Daily Life From the Past**

The weather is hot. And muggy. It's a boring day here. People staving off the heat with folding fans and grim faces.

"Maria Ella Santosa Lacier." Sister Annabelle snaps. Her hold on my ear tightens, making me grimace in pain. "I have told you before, time and again. You can _not_ steal from people! Even if it's to help your fellow children!"

"I understand, Sister Annabelle." I say quietly. She huffs a few times, before finally letting go of her hostage- my poor, poor ear. "It is... difficult... holding back when I _know_ those people can live without the food. It wasn't like they don't have money to buy more."

It's true though. They donate like, what? Three dollars? Then they go around announcing that they donated to the church like it's a big thing. Later in the afternoon, they'd go around showing off their credit cards and gold jewelry and expensive clothes. They won't miss the food I had stolen from them. They're too rich to. Hypocrites, all of them.

"That's not the point." She growls. She slips out a ruler from her robes and taps her foot.

"I know." I say once more, glancing at the punishment stick nervously and carefully avoiding her eyes. I know it's rude to do so, and I usually make the effort to do the opposite, but I can't right now. I don't want to give myself away after all. "I can not promise I will not do it again. But I can promise to try not to."

"...Good enough, I suppose." She sighs. She slips the offending item back in wherever it came from, and relaxed her guard. "You are a _good_ child, Maria. So you will take your punishment like the good girl you are. Go to the Isolation Room for the rest of the day and pray for forgiveness from our Father."

"Yes, Sister Annabelle."

 **O.o.O.o.O.**

I step out of the room, my knees and feet sore from all the praying. It isn't the first time it's happened, so it's easy to ignore.

"Mama!" A call grabs my attention. What... a title to be called around here. I look to side and see my fellow children.

"I keep telling you," I inform them with an exasperated sigh, "I'm not your mom. Save that title for someone else."

One day, you will leave this place. Either as an adult or as an adopted child. I'm not the one you should be calling "Mama." I can't always be here for you and provide you with a warmth and love only a mother can give.

The group giggle and laugh as if I'd told a joke and a pair of children flank me and take my hands into their own. They pull me into their games, their gossips on the going-ons in the town. There's been a fuss going around, what with the monster the townspeople had killed a mere week ago. There's been rumors of monsters appearing more frequently, luring more and more people away to played with or to be eaten.

Four months ago, there had been many people who fell prey to the cries of a baby in the forest. It wasn't a baby. Not a living one anyway. Once found out, countless people gave it lit white candles, in hopes to appease it and be led into the afterlife. I wasn't one of them.

One month ago, unknown travelers arrived in our town muttering about a man with disjointed limbs and a horse's head. All giggling nervously while recounting a tale of abuse until submission. There's been something going on lately, and I didn't want to be ignorant of it. But right now...

Bright smiles and innocent eyes and insistent tugs to play a game. It wouldn't hurt to entertain them, they are children after all.

 **O.o.O.o.O**

Later on, the children lead me back to Sister Anabelle. I help her prepare dinner. Carefully keeping my face impassive as I cut garlic and add salt to the soup. The pain is almost unbearable, but I managed to soldier through.

I ignore the burning lurking at the back of my throat as we eat the soup.

 **O.o.O.o.O**

I tuck in the last child and gently brushes his hair away from his eyes.

"Goodnight." I tell the room quietly, and stood up to leave.

"Mama." I turn to look at the little girl on my other side. "Can you tell us a story please?"

"Hmmm..." I say playfully before sitting back down. "One story shouldn't hurt. But only one, understand?"

A chorus is "okay's" reaches my ears and I smile indulgingly. "Well then, I'll tell you about a famous monster in our country called the 'Aswang.'"

 **AN: Pronunciation: "AHS-WAHNG"**

"It looks and acts like a human during the daytime. But at night... it becomes a _monster._ There are many kinds of Aswang. Some turn into animals, like buffalos, or big dogs or black birds or even pigs! There's even a type of Aswang who'll sprout wings and its top half will separate from the lower half. All of them have two things in common: At nighttime, they all turn into monsters who eats human beings and uses spells to cover their tracks. Some eat corpses to save themselves the hassle of using magic. But there are some who are picky about what they eat- they like their meat soft. So fetuses and babies and little children like all of you are... _delicious._ "

I give a wide, almost painful smile when I see the girl next to me hide under her blanket, shivering from the story.

"Some Aswang also befriends witches who'll lend them their familiars like the Wak Wak or Tik Tik- named after the sounds they make. Their wings sound loud when they're far away, and sound soft when they're near so their victim will think it's no longer there. There _is_ a way to tell whether a person is an Aswang or not during the day... An oil called Hintura will froth whenever an Aswang is near it. When you look at their eyes, your reflection will be either look strange or upside down. Salt and garlic also hurts them really badly. The older people say that you can get protection against them by getting Agimats and wearing them or placing them at your window or your door. And you can kill them by beating them with a whip made from a sting ray's tail or by cutting its head off."

"It's just a story right?" Hopeful eyes look into mine, though it's too dark for them to really see. I laugh at this, relishing in the fear flashing in their eyes.

"It's all real." I tell them with a smirk. "I saw one with my own eyes. Our town just got rid of one last week, remember?"

 _Screams and pleads and curses. The sound of a whip hitting the flesh and the smell of burning skin filling my nose. That had been an eventful day. And I should have been empathetic, even fearful but that just wasn't meant to be. No, instead of a chill running down my spine, it had been thrill. But no one needs to know that._

"A word of advice," I tell them gravely, catching their full attention. "If there is someone you even _suspect_ of being Aswang, I want you to befriend it immediately."

"Why?" A little boy asks staring up at me with confusion.

"During the daytime, even with their strangeness that gives them away, Aswang are at their most human. They laugh, they cry, they get angry. Those are things animals can do and mimic, yes. But the Aswang also feel worry, love, respect and fear. Befriending an Aswang means that they will be loyal to you. They will never, in their entire lives, even think of eating you, because they are attached and they are loyal. They will give you whatever they know of love and friendship. There is also a saying that the older people say: 'An Aswang is better compared to one who thieves.' Keep that in mind, and you might go far in life. Just... be very careful to not let them know you suspect it."

I take special care not to look at the winged man watching me from a branch outside the window, carefully hidden by the leaves and branches. Then, once I was sure they were all asleep, I slip out into the woods.

 _*...wak...wak...*_

"Gabriel." I greet quietly. A pair of talons gently wraps around my shoulders and I bite my lip as my feet leave the ground. Saraphina must have really hated the Catholic Church at the time when she named Gabriel. As a Wak Wak, he looks like a harpy with bat wings, so for her to name him after an Archangel was definitely a big "Fuck you." to the religion. Though I really can't blame her.

He sets me down in the bushes a ways from a house, then flies back into hiding.

"Good evening, Saraphina." I greet quietly as I enter. We exchange polite smiles, before getting down to business.

 **AN: Nope. Get your mind out of the gutter, all of you!**

"I understand the charm has run out of power." She says, her voice calm and soothing. "Give it now, I'll have it ready by the morning. In the meantime, you can pick some ingredients for me."

"Of course," I agree amiably. After all she's done, this is the least I can do. After telling me all the things she wanted, she opened her balcony door for me. What a thoughtful person. "I'll see you near dawn."

"See ya!" She waves goodbye as I take my shirt off so my wings don't tear it apart. My torso detaches from my hips and I fly out with my mind occupied on making plans on what to do after feeding.

The working girls should be heading back home from Japan, so I can bother them for lessons on the language. Tourist season should be coming soon, so I should start working at the bar to get money so I can pay for a Jeepney heading down there. The white people tend to be generous with their money. Plus, it'll help brush on my English speaking skills. It'll be Angelica's birthday next month, and she's been eyeing that stuffed toy the store down the street has had since forever. It's expensive, but a week of working and guiding people on "tours" should pay it off. The kids also haven't had Pan De Sal **(AN: An actual food product from Philippines. I do not own.)** in a while, so maybe we can have that instead of a birthday cake...


End file.
